Calling Yourself “Self-Made” Is Bullshit

I always find it funny to read the term self-made somewhere or hear someone say that he is a self-made man because how big of an egocentric man you got to be to call yourself self-made?

It is true that those people really came a long way. It is true that most of them started with nothing. It is true that they worked harder than anyone else around them to get to where they are now. But it is not true that they are ,and anyone ever else will be, self-made.

To get somewhere in life we are all dependent on at least some sort of help. This applies to everyone. I’ve never come across one single person whose life wasn’t build on a foundation of parents, friends, teachers, and mentors.
We all have that one beautiful soul that we can always rely on, no matter what is going on. They give us a place to stay when we have nowhere to go. They support us when we most need it.
We all have someone who shares wisdom and advice with us. In times of darkness that’s the person we go to.
We all have some sort of idol in our lives. Although we might only know them from posters or the internet, they motivate us when we feel like giving up.

You might have that big vision. You might have that fire in your soul. But where would you really be without the help of all those people? Odds are, right where you began.

So how can you ever claim to be self-made? To say that to yourself  is an insult to every person and every piece of adive that got you here. You are only making a fool of yourself by believing that you are self-made. But the worst thing is that it gives the wrong impression to anyone that looks up to you: That they can do it alone.
I can’t. All the people I know or heard of can’t. You probably can’t. And those who look up to you probably can’t do it either.

We all need fuel to be added to our fire to keep it burning. Without the help, support, advice, and inspiration of others, we wouldn’t have that fuel and would be stuck with nowhere to go.

I bet you have learned something from all of them and oftentimes picked up something you didn’t expect. I bet that a big part of your day is designed after the pieces of advice you have received from others and implemented them in your life. Whether it’s your morning routine, your training, the way you treat people, the philosophy you live your life by, even the things you eat, or just motivation to get through your day.

The world is a classroom where you soak up lessons to add fuel to your fire. There will always be moments in life when you need outside motivation and advice. There will be a lot of times when you don’t have the answer to your problem and you are forced to look beyond yourself.

You can admit that you can’t do it alone. I can’t. Probably no one can. To deny it is just plain wrong.
So please stop calling yourself self-made because in reality none of us is.

Don’t Set Life Goals

When I was a little kid my life goal was to have a million dollars and drive a red Ferrari.
As a teenager the million dollars became a hundred million dollars and I added a yacht and several more cars to the red Ferrari. Oh and don’t forget the huge mansion with this insanely large pool and with more rooms and bathrooms than one person could ever use. Despite the silliness of that life goal I believed I had a direction to where my life is heading. What I didn’t know back then as a little kid was that you actually have to work towards your goals. Silly me believed that all it took to achieve my goal was to think about it and life would magically find a way to make it reality!
But today I’ve ditched all of my life goals and replaced them with something better.

But what on earth is better than setting a goal for your life? It’s a simple answer so let me tell you about it. The thing that is better than to set a goal for your life is to set a goal for your day. Yes, you read that right. I am proposing you to ditch your life goals and replace them with daily goals instead. Before you go apeshit crazy and say something like: “What the fuck Maurizius?! How on earth will this help me to achieve anything in life? First I’ve got to endure your stupid writing and now this shit! My goal of the day is accomplished once I get my lazy ass out of bed and that’s hard enough, Jeez!”, let me explain first.

Now, to make this work you need at least some sort of idea of where you want your life to be headed. Otherwise you are just going around in circles. “But doesn’t that mean I need a life goal first? So what you’re telling us is just utter bullshit Maurizius!”. No, it’s not. It’s completely different and a lot better. Once you’ve got some sort of idea of who you want to be it’s plain simple. Before going to bed or after waking up the next day you set some goals for the day. Be aware they really have to be achievable in one day! So depending on the complexity of your daily goal you can set up any number of goals ranging from one up to infinite.

As I mentioned earlier I didn’t know that you have to put in the work to achieve your goals. What this concept does is that it cuts all the work it takes to achieve one’s major goal into tiny little pieces of which each can be accomplished within one single day. Because of that you will be productive without feeling overwhelmed of the amount of work that needs to be done. In addition it prevents you from drifting through each day without achieving anything. And the best part is that you will form habits that will transform your future life! Because as we all know it’s our everyday habits that determine what the future will hold for us.

Living In The Moment

We are carrying the burden of self-consciousness with us wherever we go. But what exactly is this burden I am talking about? It’s the burden of being able to imagine the future. We are able to conceptualise a future with our eyes closed. First of that this is even possible is amazing. I mean do you realize what that actually means? While you are physically sitting somewhere right now in the present moment your mind is able to imagine your possible future. Your mind is not only able to imagine your life for the next few days but it is able to imagine it for the next weeks, months, and years leading up to your death. I found it to be really mind blowing once I really gave a thought to it.

However, the downside is that because you are able to do such a thing you now begin to worry. You can see the future coming and you think “Uh oh! The future is coming better start getting shit done.” It is not just the present anymore that you have to worry about. You don’t just have to worry about whether you are hungry right now. You are going to have to worry about whether you will be hungry tomorrow, next week, next month or next year. But this doesn’t only affect your worry about your hunger. It spreads out to all areas of your life. Are my bills paid? Will I be able to continue working to earn money? Do I have to worry about getting fired? What if I get sick? Will I be able to provide not only for myself but for my wife/husband and child?

So what do we naturally do? We begin to work. What does that mean? We sacrifice the present for the future. But the price we pay for that is tremendous. We don’t get the present. And that’s a big price to pay right? What we are doing is that we put all the potential suffering of the future and put it into the present. All the time. Maybe we are able to live longer and healthier but we lose one essential part of living. That part is happiness.

You won’t be happy until you can stop worrying about the future and just focus on the present. Who really is unhappy when they are really living in the present? It most certainly won’t be you. Don’t believe me? Try it out. Just stop all your thinking for a moment and start to look around. Look around your room. Look outside the window and notice what is going on. Start to get a feel of your body. Notice your breath. Notice how your lungs fill with oxygen while breathing in and how they start to relax once you breath out. Begin to smile. You don’t have to laugh just a quick smile and you will feel better. Notice how all your worries came to a pause for moment? That is what living in the present actually is.

We won’t find true happiness and we won’t stop worrying  until we learn how to live in the present and enjoy the moment. It isn’t just something that happens overnight. It is a skill that needs to be carefully practiced every single day. If that is to much for you, start with 3 times a week. But in all honesty if you aren’t able to pull this off daily you are in need for a 6 month long vacation. At least twice this year. This little practice won’t consume much more than a minute of your daily live but it will sure change the rest of it. Soon you will be able to enjoy more and more the present moment and start worrying less and less about your future. And all of a sudden without you even noticing it you are living in the future.

We Should All Take A Time Off Sometimes

Nowadays we can’t move fast enough. We multi-task everything we do in the hope of not missing out on life and the many opportunities it offers us. We believe that time is running against us. That time is our enemy. We believe that if we can’t do and get the things we want right now, we will never get to enjoy them. But boy (or girl) are we wrong about that. Just stop for a moment, take a deep breath, and realize that time is NOT your enemy. From now on time is your new best friend for life. You don’t lack time. You lack patience.

As a matter of fact we all do. But believe me when I say that we have more than enough time in our lives because life is the longest thing we will EVER experience. I know. I know. Mind blowing. For those that aren’t convinced don’t come at me with the “But life is too short” stuff. Because, no, life is not too short to experience the beauty of it. If you believe that life is too short, then you just haven’t yet learned about that magic word called “Priorities”. Although life is indeed too short to sit around and whine about how life is too short. So get up and collect some beautiful memories!

But there is more behind taking a time off than just collecting beautiful memories. Distance from the things you are surrounded by in your everyday life can have a huge effect on how you spend your time in the future. Sometimes it is only from a distance that we can see what is really going on in our lives.

Ask yourself if the things you are spending your time on still ignite that little spark in you. Ask yourself if your body is still filled with joy. Ask yourself if you can still see yourself doing this for another few weeks, months, years or even decades. If you can’t find a positive answer to those questions, you may have arrived at that one point in life where you should take a few steps back and really take a look from the distance at your current situation. Locate the things that bother you or leave you unsatisfied and eliminate them. There is no need to carry unnecessary weight with you on your journey.

I told you life is the longest thing we will ever experience but that doesn’t mean that we shouldn’t spend our time wisely and solely on the things we really enjoy doing. And Sometimes all it takes to get back your energy and happiness is a really long break from the things that surround you.

 

Casey Neistat’s “DO WHAT YOU CAN’T”

“Keep your head down, follow the rules, do as you are told, play it safe, wait your turn, ask permission, learn to compromise.” We have all heard these phrases throughout the different stages of our life. Most of us probably even grew up with them. But this is the most terrible piece of advice you can ever give a human being, yet a child. Except your life goal is to live the most ordinary, boring, uneventful, and unsatisfied life possible. Then ,congratulations, you already achieved it and this post isn’t meant for you. But for everyone else keep reading.

There are always people, the haters, the doubters, the people that just don’t believe in anyone, even themselves, who tell you that you can’t achieve something. But who are they really to tell you that you won’t achieve your dream? Who are you really to let them fill your mind with doubts and negativity? You don’t need permission from anyone but yourself. I repeat. YOU DO NOT NEED PERMISSION FROM ANYONE BUT YOURSELF. It is your life so you might as well live it the way you want it. You want to travel to a place you always wanted to visit but people say you can’t? Do it anyways. You want to move to a city to pursue your dream but people say you can’t? Do it anyways. You want to become an athlete but people say you aren’t fit enough? Train your ass off (on) and show them that you can. Silence anyone who says that you can’t do something by showing them that you did it.

You might not become the director of the next Hollywood blockbuster but you can grab a camera, shoot your own movie, upload it on YouTube and become a viral hit. You are a creator. There is nobody that tells you what you can and can’t do. Nobody that tells you what you can and can’t say. All you need is something that you want to share. Something that you want to say. The only thing that is limiting you is your imagination. But thankfully your imagination is limitless.

If you do it right, you get to live the most fulfilling, adventurous, satisfying, and happiest life you can imagine. You get to see places you have never been to. You get to do things you have never done before. You get to meet new people from places all around the world. You get to live a life that you can’t quite grasp because you are doing all the things that people say you couldn’t do. We are the new generation. We have the whole world at the tip of our fingers.

I believe in you and everything that you want to be and do. You are confident. You know yourself. You believe in yourself. You are unstoppable. I say: “You can and you are going to do everything that you want because people said you couldn’t do it! This is your chance to prove anyone who has ever doubted you, who didn’t believe in you that you are fully capable of doing it!” And as Casey said: “We are the fucking iceberg!” Now if you haven’t seen his video yet, you might as well do it right now down below.

5 Must Read Books While Waiting for Summer

These are my 5 must read books while waiting for warm and sunny days. Cuddle up in your home with one of these books and learn how to improve yourself and love everything that is around you. They will inspire you. They will motivate you. They will most definitely get to your heart and touch your soul.

1. The Art of Communicating – Thich Nhat Hanh

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This book teaches you mindful listening and how to express your authentic and true self. Words are food. We are capable to nourish or to create pain just by the words we speak. Thich Nhat Hanh says that the most precious gift we can offer someone is our presence. People want to feel seen and heard. To receive another person’s undivided attention is so healing and validating.

2. Big Magic – Elizabeth Gilbert

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In Big Magic, Elizabeth Gilbert shares her wisdom and passion for creativity. If you haven’t found your passion yet, don’t worry Big Magic is exactly the book you need to read. It teaches you to live a life led by curiosity and how to express your creativity and fight your fear.

3. The Book of Awakening – Mark Nepo

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This is the perfect daybook. 365 entries will provide you a years worth of wisdom and love. I hilighted almost every single page of it because it has so much to offer. Take this book with you when you travel. Read it when you are feeling lost. It is a must read.

4. The Mastery of Love – Don Miguel Ruiz

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This is the book to read to shift all relationships in your life. Be it to yourself, your friends, your family,  your partner. It will give you so many “Aha!” moments. Ruiz shows us how to heal our emotional wounds, recover the freedom and joy, and restore the spirit of playfulness that is vital to loving relationships. It will teach you what love really means and why most people misunderstand love.

5. The Pilgrimage – Paulo Coelho

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If you liked The Alchemist, you will absolutely fall in love with this book. It’s Coelho’s true story  of his experiences in life and his path to love and wisdom. You accompany him during his journey on the Camino de Santiago and each new page leaves you with more wisdom and inspiration.

These Books are magic. They have the power to open our minds to ways of thinking we may not have thought were possible. The best way to learn about yourself is through books. They help us to come into a place of introspection. Your dreams are limitless. Believe that you can, and you will do it. Start living a life of unconditional love and come fully into the present moment.

Happiness Comes From Inside

The mistake most of us make is that we put our happiness in someone’s hands. We base our happiness on another person but it doesn’t work that way. If you take your happiness and put it in someone elses hands, sooner or later, he or she is going to break it. If you give your happiness to someone else, he or she can always take it away. As soon as you make someone responsible for your happiness, he or she is going to break it because they can never be responsible for someone’s happiness but their own. Happiness never comes from outside of us.

Instead happiness can only come from inside of us. It is the result of your thinking. It is the result of your love. You are responsible for your happiness.  We can never make anyone responsible for our own happiness. Don’t expect that someone is going to make you happy and you are going to make that someone happy. It doesn’t matter how much you love each other because the truth is that you will never find true happiness until you create it yourself.

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